I AND MY WORDS

Long ago the clock washed midnight away; bringing the dawn; I wake up all of a sudden. Its dark around me, and I am scared - scared that darkness will engulf me and swallow me up to the point of disappearing forever. Dawn is far off it seems, and I for one am clueless as to what is going to happen to me next. I get out of the bed to realize that the floor is still there. Its chill sends a chill up my spine; but it is comforting in a weird sense. I can see in this darkness a strange silhouette of the doorway, as I stumble along towards the kitchen, trying to get for myself a glass of water to quench the thirst. The sweat trickling down my back makes me uncomfortable; not because of its expression of wet, but because it flows out of fear - fear of the bad dream I saw when I was perhaps asleep. Oh God, I must be dreaming; time to get up again; and time to start up again Terrible dreams plague me. They seem to be chasing me from a past unknown to me. In my dream I was an audio witness to t...

Delhi is a strangely funny city. Let us see what happens now!!!

It is weird what has happening with me since I came back; things are moving at a blinding pace. It seems a whirlwind has engulfed me within its bounds, and I do not know when it shall end. I can only hope it does!!

Yes, its my last week in Hyderabad. It has been an interesting period of time. Was it well spent? I do not know. I learned a lot about people, life and much more. Most of all, I learned a lot about the art of movie making. Anyways, I recently watched two telugu movies: Arundhathi and Sagarasangamam, both of which I would remark as good movies. More on that some other time. I am finally going back to Delhi. I hope I do regain contact with myself, something I lost in Hyderabad. God bless us all!

I have truly lost peace of mind working where I am nowadays; I wish I could just leave it all and run away from it all. But how long can I run away from life. everybody thinks of me to be arrogant; I was shocked to know the level of ignorance about me, and this confirmed my beliefs. People usually think I do not know what is going on around me, but trust me, I read the signs better than most people, and saw this coming. I just pray now that I get a decent job in Delhi, so that I can be spared this mental ordeal that I have to bear everyday here in Hyderabad.

I do not know what has happened to me here. The whole world seems to be a sad, piquant place, and a shadow of melancholy covers my mind, protecting me from the rays of the happy sun. God save me now; but I have to fight this sense of loneliness that just refuses to leave me. Watched Raaz of Rajesh Khanna recently. My God does Rajeev Khandelwal look like Rajesh Khanna of those times!

Its humid nowadays; the city is recuperating from the spell of intense heat that had been unleashed on it for a month and a half by the forces of nature, and is slowly limping back to normal. Today, I am all alone in the house, as everybody else has left for their personal work. The only person that I knew out of my office has gone to her home for three weeks, so I am trying to pass time by reading books of all kinds and watching movies and documentaries. I recently came across this documentary called "The Trials of Henry Kissinger", which I highly recommend for all those who claim to be intellectuals. The movie, though a tool for anti-imperialist thugs like the Communists, is an amazing expression of freedom, which I doubt if we shall ever be able to talk so openly about our 'great leaders' in such a critical way as well, even after their death. Meanwhile, Hyderabad finally got a decent place in the form of GVK One at (you guessed it right), Banjara Hills. Its not op...